Wednesday, December 5, 2012
IWSG - December, 2012
Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for this monthly group hug.
At our family get-together for Thanksgiving, my brother-in-law said it: "So, you I hear you're writing a book."
All eyes were on me. I've been playing it cool up until now. Only my sister and mom knew I've been writing novels for the last three years.
I looked him in the eye without wincing and said, "Yes, I am," as if it were something I wanted to talk about.
Recently, I let my sister read the first chapter of my last novel. I didn't get the impression she wanted to read more. I told myself she was busy - but I believed she just didn't like it.
My brother-in-law kept asking more questions as if he were interviewing me. He asked what was the title and what steps I would need to take to get it published. I had one of those 'Oh, Crap!' moments where I wanted to run or hide or just evaporate into thin air. Then I glanced at my sister. The look on her face was unmistakable: she was incredibly proud of me.
I told everyone that I'm on my fourth novel. I told them the titles and what I'm working on now. They all were attentive and seemed to really care about it, which I didn't expect at all. Everyone at the table agreed it would be cool to know someone that wrote a novel. They seemed genuine about it - no one was mocking me or doubted for a minute I could do it.
I assured them it's unlikely I will make any real money from this, and if I do get published, it may be ten years out.
My brother-in-law said, "So, it's a hobby?"
I thought, No, not even close. I said, "Sort of." And the conversation turned to the huge success of J.K. Rowling and then my step-dad's aches and pains.
This is definitely not a hobby for me. It's more of a compulsion. But I'm okay with other people in my life viewing it as a hobby because I honestly don't need pressure from anyone. I just need to take it one chapter at a time.
I didn't think I needed the support of my family, and I never expected I would get it. Now that I have it, it feels fantastic - I feel 100 times less insecure than I did last month.