Wednesday, May 2, 2012
IWSG: Ups and Downs
I think most of us have ups and downs as aspiring writers, times where we are self-confident and in the zone as well as other times when we feel like maybe we don't have talent at all.
I feel the most confident when I'm writing fiction or editing five days a week. And I feel the worst when I take an extended break from writing. I'm definitely in a low right now.
Over the last month, I've written a lot here for the A to Z Challenge. The response has been amazing, and I'm really glad I did it, but somewhere along the way over the course of the month I lost my fiction-writing mojo. My Muse left town for sure.
I have had a hard time sitting to write over the last six weeks because of a back injury that is taking its time getting better. My kids have been sick. I am sick. And on and on. The bottom line is I let a lot of time pass without touching my WIP, too much time, so much time that I feel completely disconnected from it and from myself as a writer.
So I did what I know you all would tell me to do. I read some of my WIP. I did some editing. I entered the revisions I had from my critique partner for the first twenty chapters. But the magic that usually happens when I do these things didn't. I didn't get my groove back; I didn't reconnect. I'm a little worried I never will.
It's probably just because I'm sick and completely burnt out from A-Z. I know writing is the thing I need to do to get excited about writing. But I want a break, a break from always expecting something of myself, of pushing myself to achieve something every day.
I wonder if I'm done with writing.
But when I write those words, tears well up in my eyes. I think the tears mean I love writing and don't want to toss my WIPs in the recycle bin. But I'm not sure if the emotion is just from realizing I'm on on the brink of failure.