Friday, August 19, 2011

Death by Tomatoes

Yesterday, I had a story to tell that seemed really funny to me, but Blogger was uncooperative and wouldn't render a textbox on the New Post page.  Frustrating.

Here's the story, but I think it was much funnier yesterday.

I am not a fantastic gardener, but have been really lucky with tomatoes this year.  I ordered three cherry tomato plants online from a seed company.  They sent me three full-sized roma tomato plants instead.   I have picked and cooked about one hundred tomatoes - and am sort of getting tired of tomato sauce.  There are another one hundred or so green tomatoes waiting to ripen - no exaggeration.  I am very blessed with tomatoes.

So yesterday, I was in my back yard picking more tomatoes before I watered my garden.  My neighbor was in his back yard.  I offered him my basket of tomatoes. 

He said he had a severe tomato allergy. 

My first thought, which I am certain I said out loud, was,"So I could kill you with these?" 

My neighbor is more than a little quirky himself and didn't take my words as a threat.  He said I'd have to feed them to him raw, which made me smile more.  I smiled because I thought a really funny title for a short story would be "Death by Tomatoes" - because that's the way my mind works lately.  Like I said, it was funnier yesterday. 

Later in the conversation, I did tell him I was writing novels.  He got a strange look on his face.  I don't know if he was worried I would make him a character, write that hilarious story he told me about his ex-wife, the police, and the fix-it guy, or if he finally figured out what was a little different about me that he couldn't quite place before.  He was drinking, so maybe he was just thinking he needed another beer. 

People act crazy around me, and I immediately think about characterization.  A room mom is super rude, and I have a story.  The clouds in the sky look like the fingers of God, and I hope I remember to write that down before I forget the image.   Writing is so much fun.   


  1. My favorite line at the salon is "My wife would kill me if I bought this shampoo." My thoughts "Death by purchase of shampoo". There are a lot of men out there afraid to buy shampoo due to their murderous wives.

  2. Interesting thought. Tomatoes are part of the nightshade family and were long believed to be poisonous.

  3. Hey, Ms. Tomato-

    I know you just received one of these, but I'd like to give you one of my own. Please pop over to my place to accept an award when you get the chance.

  4. Your title is still funny today. Great story!

  5. @Shelly - That's odd that a lot of men say that. I wonder if my husband uses that line.

    @Blue - Thank you for the info - very interesting. Maybe all my ailments are due to eating too many poisonous tomatoes....

    @Bryce - Thank you. That is very sweet of you. I will accept soon.

    @Donna - Thanks. :)