Thursday, August 15, 2013

Musings and Things that are Bothering Me

So my husband is flying home from Uganda right now.  As I write this he may be over Libyan airspace.  I don't know for sure because the apps that track where the plane is in the sky aren't working today (maybe haven't worked for a long while or ever) for flights in the air in northern Africa, which is for the best if it helps him get home safely.

It's not a direct flight.  There is no direct flight to Uganda from anywhere in the US that I'm aware of.  He left the day after the new global warning on travel to Africa in particular.  So I've been worried about him although he's assured me he is no where near terrorists or pirates (seriously - pirates on the East Coast of Central Africa is apparently a problem according to the travel advisory).  He'll be back about twenty-four hours after he left.

The time he's been gone has been difficult.  School starts for all of us next week, and we had lots of things to do over the last two weeks.  My little one misses his dad tremendously when he's gone and had an especially hard time because of something inconsiderate a family member said in front of him.  It's even harder for him when I am stressed out, and this particular family member has done her best to make me as stressed as possible.  This week has been hard for me and my little guy. 

Just before my husband left (about two weeks ago), I had more problems with the nerve in my foot, so my doctor squeezed it real hard to verify that's where it hurts.  Yes, that was the spot.  And he made the whole thing worse without doing anything to make it better.   

And what I thought would be a rather routine doctor appointment for something else yesterday ended with a biopsy in the office with no pain meds and no husband to drive me home or comfort me or help with my child.  On the up side, it turns out I'm tough enough to have a good sized amount of me removed without meds.  (I know how much because he showed me, which I have to say was totally unnecessary and really gross.)

Just after that, my mother revealed to me a family history for a disease that might affect me - information I needed to know a very long while ago.  Apparently, she thought I somehow knew without ever being told.  She wasn't malevolent about it - it seemed to be an honest mistake, an enormous oversight. 

After researching this history with other family members just to be sure I had absolutely all the facts, I was told other sad things about my family, nothing recent, but sad stories about people that are long gone but very much missed.  And I'm finding myself very affected by it. 

My class starts next week. It's a creative non-fiction class (I dropped the fiction class due to a conflict with soccer for preschoolers).  I intended to write about my family (mostly the ones who are gone) and the research I did about them that led me to the novels I'm writing. 

Although I'm purposefully talking around the details off all of these things that are bothering me, I have a feeling it will give me a lot to write about in this class. 

After getting the homework, it seems that the goal of the class is to write "truth" with a personal perspective using literary techniques one would normally use to write fiction.  That sounds like just my thing.  And a lot of work...with the potential for a lot of tears.

14 comments:

  1. Sounds like a difficult couple of daysm(or weeks). I know the feeling... Hopefully the writing is an outlet and a good one at that! Cheers!

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  2. I'm so sorry you've been having such a tough time. I hope the writing will prove cathartic for you. Safe travels to your husband!

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  3. I'm sorry! Your husband will be home soon to help you carry some of the load. That family member who said something unpleasant should be avoided at all costs.

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  4. Oh, Tonja, hang in there. Sounds incredibly difficult (and physically painful). I do hope all turns out well and things get a bit easier.

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  5. Tonja, that sounds like a lot to deal with all at once and by yourself, although it sounds as though you've already dealt with most of it! I hope the next couple of weeks are much better.

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  6. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. Take care and I hope things get easier. And I hope the class is helpful for you both with the writing and also maybe processing some of these issues.

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  7. Sometimes, it seems life just dumps on us. Yes, take those problems and give them to a character. Makes it less personal. Irritating people will always be around, so there's a villain character, too.

    Hope your hubs is back safely very soon. Having a little couple support is important. BTW - my mom did that to me too - told me something when she was in her 70s that she should have told me decades before that. . .but then, I was the one who moved away from the family. . .

    Hang tough, Tonja.

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  8. Must be nerve wracking to have a loved one so far from home in a dangerous area. Good luck with your classes.

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  9. Sounds like you need a hug. HUG!! (Sorry, virtual one is the best I can do). ;0)

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  10. I am so sorry that things have been so tough lately. Yeah, Africa is pretty dangerous, but I know your husband is fine. I am sure he is in very good hands. I tagged you for a meme on my blog if you are interested. Good luck with your writing class.

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  11. Sorry about the rough times :((

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  12. Tonja, I'm sorry for all the ick you've been through. I pray all is well with you and yours, that your love is soon back in your arms, that your little one's comforted, and you as well. HUGS!!!!!

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  13. I hope things get better. The writing assignment from your class sounds interesting and fun.

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  14. Hope your Husband is home and fine, hope your foot is mending, and I hope things end up OK with your biopsy. That's a lot to deal with on your own. Then to care for your little guy, too.

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