Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Light Shows and Kaleidoscopes in my Eyes

As I'm sure you all know, it's NaNoWriMo time.  I have the participant badge on my sidebar.  I don't believe in writing a pile of words just to achieve a word count, but I do like the motivation it gives me to push myself farther than I normally would.  I should be writing furiously.  But I'm not.

The problem is I got a migraine yesterday.  If you don't have migraines, you might not know it's not just a headache - it's a headache with an "aura" effect.  Plainly put, it's like a laser light show in your eyes that stays with you even when your eyes are shut.  Sometimes it's a very annoying kaleidoscope in my left eye. 

For me, any attempt to look at a computer screen or focus my eyes on small things like words on a page makes the pain portion of the thing worse in intensity and duration.  The only thing to do is to lay down in a dark, quiet place for 24 hours, sometimes more.

I approached this month with some optimism that the migraines wouldn't set me back much on my writing goals - my doctor gave me some samples of medications he said would probably work really well.  They did.  And I couldn't stay awake.  I slept most of the day yesterday and also through the night from just one pill yesterday morning. 

The odd thing is that I feel fine, but my Muse is still asleep, hopefully not dead completely.

I can function - by that I mean I can do dishes and vacuum and do stay-at-home-motherly things.  But it's pretty clear to me I'm not going to be able to write fiction this morning. 

I will take the opportunity to fully feel this strange, completely uncreative feeling I'm overcome with and use it for good.  I tend to write about people with mental illness, and my current WIP is no exception - I think my MC will feel this way, but with more intensity after a traumatic event happens to her.  The thing that makes her her will go into a coma and she won't know who she is anymore. 

It's too risky to read a computer screen today - I'm starting to have a little bit of trouble focusing my eyes on what I'm typing.  I'll catch up on your posts later in the week.

12 comments:

  1. There you go - use it in your story.
    Sorry you get migraines. I've never had to deal with something that powerful, just sinus headaches whenever the weather changes.

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  2. Sorry about your migraines! That's got to be awful. Good luck with NaNo!

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  3. Sure hope you feel better soon, Tonja. Try to be gentle with yourself. My new philosophy is, if I'm meant to write this damn thing, it will get written, in its own time and in its own way.
    karen

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  4. Migraines are awful. I hope you feel better soon!

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  5. I haven't had a migraine for years, but when I got them I had all the symptoms except the headache. It was weird and impossible to do anything. Hope tomorrow is better.

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  6. I hope you start feeling more yourself soon and your muse returns. I get sinus headaches that feel like migraines sometimes and they are TERRIBLE! I feel your pain

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  7. Sorry to hear you are feeling bad. I get migraines too and they suck! I hope you feel better soon.

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  8. Hope you feel better soon! I'm glad I don't get migraines very often.

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  9. Sorry that you've been suffering like this! Ugh, I've never had a migraine and touch wood I shall never get one. They sound awful.

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  10. oh that stinks...hope you are ALL better tomorrow!

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