I thought it would be easy to get myself back into the habit of writing lots of words every day after taking a bit of an unplanned break over the summer. And I thought that having a huge project in front of me would be very motivating.
Nothing's ever easy, right? I assessed the situation on Tuesday night.
My desk was trashed. Completely unusable.
My notes and partially written chapters were everywhere.
I forgot the names of my characters.
Panic set in.
So I dropped my little guy off at preschool on Wednesday. And instead of going home to dive into writing, my feet walked me to the observation room.
The school has one-sided mirrors like they have in interrogation rooms on TV. I was not alone. One little guy in the classroom was crying; the director came in with his mother and warned us that this particular child was not expected to stop crying for a few weeks. We were told not to worry.
My little guy was standing up and was wiggling nervously, looking like he was going to be the first one to pee his pants. Luckily, he just had a puzzle out that he was having problems with. The puzzle was inside the circle - the very important circle made of blue painter's tape on carpet where the children sit for the morning meeting. It seems like a small thing, but I was relieved he asked for help on day one from a teacher he had never seen before. I knew he would be fine.
Eventually I went home after consoling the mother of the child who was still wailing. Even after I got home, I didn't write. I decided to get organized, physically and mentally. I cleaned my desk. I put away other WIPs that were cluttering up the place. I decided on a place for the books I need to review for research (not on my desk).
One thing I did that I believe will really help is I started a new One Note project. I created folders for each novel in the series where I can post the synopsis, the character details, and the outline. And I set up folders for historical research, the overall task list, and everything I think I will need.
Now I'm ready to write. And yet I'm not writing. I'm still a bit paralyzed.
I think I'm going to take it one day at a time. Today I'm going to type up an outline that I hand wrote weeks ago and call it a day. I am going to try to have faith that if I do a little bit every day, it will add up to a lot soon. And in a week or two this paralysis will end, and the words will come flying out.