There's always something that seems to be getting between me and writing a word on the page.
I've been sick since Sunday. Super sick. I opened my mouth to say something to my daughter two nights ago, and only a squeak came out of my mouth.
Since I literally couldn't call my doctor, I did what Carol Brady did and got into bed with a sad expression on my face. I wished I had Alice to bring me a cup of tea, which made me wonder the thing I imagine we've all wondered - why in the world did the Brady's have a housekeeper? And how did they afford 6 kids, a dog, and a servant? Why couldn't the older kids clean up after themselves or make their own lunch? And what the hell did Carol Brady do all day except talk to Alice while Alice cooked and cleaned? I don't even recall an episode where she met with friends.
A better story would have been Mrs. Brady's gradual mental breakdown from a complete lack of purpose and an overwhelming feeling that her husband thinks she's completely inept.
Imagine a scene where she wants to cook a meal or work in the garden or rearrange some furniture - something, anything - but no one will let her. That's Alice's job. By the end of the show, she screams, "I'm in prison! Get me out of this hell!!" or something equally melodramatic while Mr. Brady hands her a glass of wine and encourages her to sit down on the couch and read a women's magazine. The kids sing a happy song about sunshine to cheer her up.
Another episode: Mrs. Brady decides to get a job. All of the characters tell her she doesn't need to do that - Mr. Brady makes all the money they could possibly need, so much money that they can afford a servant. She should stop being silly and just relax. The episode ends with her in a fetal position on the couch while the kids sing her a sunshiney song.
Instead of The Brady Bunch, it could be named A Sunshine Day. And every episode ends in the song with the mother on the couch staring at a white wall and rocking back and forth.
But I guess that doesn't lend itself to a laugh track.
Yes, I am very bored. I've spent my time this week watching back-to-back episodes of Law and Order Criminal Intent. I didn't think they made that many episodes. I did read The Crucible, so my time in bed wasn't a total loss.