Sunday, July 22, 2012

Courage?

For the last few  months, the beta copies of my previous WIP have been sitting in box on my bookshelf.  I was excited to get the critiques, but one was bad, so bad the beta reader decided to write a four page, single-spaced essay on how much she hated it.  At least she didn't hold anything back.  And she mostly hated the characters, not the writing, so I guess it could be worse.

Today I found the courage to bust out the marked up copies and begin making the final changes.  (I'm going to reward myself with something awesome and probably alcoholic for attempting this today.)

I should save this post for next Wednesday's Insecure Writer's Support Group, but I'm sure I'll have more insecurities next week - or maybe I will have overcome this one by then, who knows. 

I signed up for a writing group over the summer.  The women in the class (it's only women) break into small groups and read a set number of minutes of their own writing.  The other people in the small group listen and give a limited number of minutes of feedback at the end.  The writer gets to limit the feedback to what they need - not always craft.

I took the class with the intent to get feedback on this WIP (the one that prompted a four page rant) from people I don't know, people who presumably have no agenda.

The reading of the first chapter left me elated.  The reading of the second chapter made me feel good - I could see what I needed to change before anyone gave the feedback.  Awesome.  The next two classes made me feel like maybe I sucked as a writer. 

Two classes are left in the term - I really want to skip them and just stay home (but I already missed two).  As I write this, I realize it's the fear and dread of going to class that motivated me to edit the story today, not courage.   Maybe I'll take that drink now.

Once again, my apologies for being MIA - we did more college trips this past week.

21 comments:

  1. This person who wrote the 4-page negative review -- had this he/she ever beta-read for you before? Or was this the first time?

    I'm not saying you should ignore negative feedback you don't want to hear, but you *should* consider the source. If this person liked other things you have written, but not this one, it might indicate problems with your ms, but it might also be the reader's personal preference on genre/subject matter.

    If this person is always negative (or if this was the first critique you had from this reader), maybe he/she is just not cut out to be a beta reader.

    Anyway, congratulations on getting the courage to return to the project anyway. I know just how hard that can be -- facing a project that made you feel like a failure. But you only fail if you give up. :D

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    1. It was her first time. She never said anything bad about the writing. She just hated the characters. She wanted them to be nicer and not at all flawed. I definitely won't ask her to read again.

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  2. Toss the one who said she hated it and focus on the others.
    Think you just answered your own question about that class as well.
    Reward yourself tonight, Tonja!

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    1. Thanks, Alex. :) Maybe I'll write about the class (or not going to the class) for IWSG.

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  3. College trips are important. Have fun with that adventure. As for the writing, I would stick with the writing group for the last two. I think critiques get harsher as people know you better. Not because the writing sucks. I can tear up almost any book published on the shelf, but that doesn't mean I am right. It's so subjective. Unless the critiques are pointing out things you can see (like bad writing habits) then you have to remember subjectivity and opinions will abound.

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    1. We'll definitely remember the college trips. The people are really nice at the writing group - I'm just not getting much out of it.

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  4. Hey Tonja:

    My crit group consists of 4 other women. There is always one who totally blows what I do into pieces. In fact, she told me she would never read any of my books. What I write is not her preference. But I also think there's a bit of jealousy. When I sent out my bookcover to my critters, she was the only one who didn't respond.

    Yeah. Consider the source. But also analyze your own stuff to see if she has a valid point. If not, toss it out.

    I know my MC doesn't stand up to her mother initaily and marries a moron despite her being a psychic/medium and her dead Gram's warnings. Plus the story takes place in the 80s. There are no cell phones...no texting. Also, racism still flourished and girls still did what they were told. I know I did. Not to mention, I didn't trust myself to ever do the right thing.

    Also, don't worry about blogging everyday. Life gets in the way. No-No has a torn miniscus so I'll be toting her back and forth to the doctor.

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    1. I think your book sounds great. I bet there's a huge audience for books set in the 80's. The YA crowd might not get the concept of a time without cell phones, but I think the 40+ crowd would love it. We all got married so young back then - I literally only know one person who got married around the time I did that's still on her first marriage.

      I don't know if I could stick with someone in a crit group that didn't have anything positive to offer.

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  5. Oh my gosh that would be so hard. I so love you because I laugh every time I stop in. I appreciate your honesty so much too. Want to have a glass of wine together? :-) Here is my cheer for you - YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! Remember not everyone will like what you do and as hard as it is, this will give you growth. (easy for me to say, right?) Sending lots of positive vibes your way!

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    1. Your comment made my day. I love making people laugh (especially about the bad stuff).

      Positive vibes back to you too. :)

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  6. Hope you enjoyed the trips to visit colleges.

    I noticed in my crit group, as time went on and we became more comfortable with each other, we've become bluntly honest. No matter, feedback can sting. It's better to hear it now than later though.

    OK, she wrote you 4 pages, but maybe the fix is not as complicated as all that. I get all balled up in knots and freak about the changes. But most times it boils down to something not so complicated. I just have to get my brain to quiet and then mull it over.

    The most strenuous changes often come about from *my* critique of the piece. lol Anyway, after you chew on it some. You'll probably see it's not as huge of a thing as you think it is now.

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    1. I think when I read my chapters most recently in the group, I was definitely harder on myself than anyone else. No fun to be self-critical in public.

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  7. I agree with Dianne...a passionate (4 page) negative critique doesn't make it any more or less relevant unless you really know the source.

    And regardless of the motivation...fear or courage...you're still editing! :)

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    1. I agree about not taking it too seriously. And she never said my writing sucked, she just didn't like the characters. Everyone else did, so it's all good.

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  8. yikes! That 4 page blast can't have been fun. It's good to look at the bright side of it though. And it's good to listen to the majority... and your own heart.

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    1. It was especially bad since it was read to me. :) I felt like I was in a Woody Allen movie.

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  9. I'm sorry about the 4 page rant. It sounds like maybe that reader went a bit overboard!

    I admire you for going to the writing group. That is something I really need to do, but I'm so afraid of reading my work out loud. It sounds ridiculous but it makes me so nervous. I know that's something I need to overcome as it's clear a group like that can be very beneficial.

    I hope the college trips have gone well. :)

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    1. The college trips were good - well, the ones that were bad were also good because she was able to rule them out. Very memorable if nothing else.

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  10. Yep, I am with Alex here Tonja, ditch the b***h, sorry for the use of bad language, but I think that her harsh actions deserve the harshness. I believe a critique partner/beta reader should encourage positive responses and be delicate in their criticisms to empower motivation.

    I am sorry that you had to go through this experience, but do not let it perturb you from your objective.

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  11. Ah,critiques are so hard on our fragile egos. BUT, who needs a CP that would write a four page rant? How in the hell is that supposed to help anyone?. It appears you need to rework your CP's as much as your WIP. I know they are hard to find, but someone who goes off like that, would be crossed off my list real fast.

    Hopefully your class will go better this time.

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  12. I agree with Farawayeyes and everyone else who commented. Not all critique is valid; some people just relish in being overly critical. And not liking the characters? So what?! Characters are multi-dimensional. If she didn't like your characters, that likely says a lot more about her than it does about you or your writing.

    Keep going.
    xoRobyn

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