The last time I confessed to something that really bothers and annoys me - beeping sounds - my co-workers rigged up my laptop to beep incessantly. I had my headphones plugged in, the noise-reducing kind to block out the sounds of the co-workers and random beeps, but I didn't feel like listening to music that day, so I wouldn't put them on. The co-workers kept telling me to put them on, but I kept saying, 'No.' I don't like to be told what to do more than I hate beeping sounds. They got impatient and made everything in the room beep until I put on my headphones.
This morning, nothing's beeping, but I'm really anxious. I have an appointment to get my eyes checked. I took my daughter a week ago and realized after I started laughing nervously that I should have taken her appointment and had her go today.
This guy is going to touch the skin just below my eye and try to hold my eye open.
Two years ago at my last appointment, I stopped the exam and said no thank you. This time, I have to let him do it because I'm having blood pressure problems that are affecting my eyes. My regular doctor told me I have to have this test done. And now. Crap.
At my daughter's appointment, I laughed until I cried and confessed that we both are terrified of this super nice guy just looking at our eyes and being careful to tell every detail of what he's doing and how it looks in an attempt to inform and keep us calm. This incessant chatter about what he's about to do, what he's just done, exacerbates our anxiety.
When we told him that, he agreed I should self-medicate for my appointment if that's what I need. I'm thinking a giant margarita will work.
My husband didn't seem to understand what my problem was this morning. I asked him to imagine having to face the one thing that scares him the most. Then he got it. I was surprised by what he said - completely surprised - I thought he was going to say, "Bees." He dances around like he's on fire when he sees a bee, which seems to attract even more bees.
What are you afraid of?