I am happy to say today, this first day of 2011, despite the fact I am once again feeling absolutely like crap fighting a bladder infection, as if I needed one more ailment to add to the list of ailments over the last few weeks, I have indeed lightened up. I am encouraging my husband to take a break and do nothing but chill out and play with the boys until the sun goes down. The only thing I ask is that he doesn't trash the place in the process and go fetch eats since I am not feeling like cooking - mostly, I don't feel like washing another dish.
My ten year old is happily zoned out playing games on the Lego website. My daughter has invited a friend over this afternoon. Everything is good.
The urge hit me this morning to go ahead and sign up for the next session of my writing class, the class I had decided not to do because, well, it's cold out. The fact is I will have no other reason (except occasional trips to the coffee shop to write) to write regularly and to leave the house. I will have no contact with adults outside of my family if I don't sign up for class. While I love the idea of hanging out in my pj's with my kids for the winter, fantasizing about my garden, sandy-shore vacation, and family bike ride plans, I realize it's not healthy at all to burrow in for the winter.
So I am registered and I feel very happy about it. I feel very optimistic thinking about what story I want to work on for this term. Last term, I decided to finish typing up my children's story - and I did. Ten weeks is the perfect time frame for me to complete a writing project. I have an idea I am toying with - a story called Anxiety about a high-strung woman (maybe me) that can't seem to relax. Each chapter details the source of each point of anxiety. I have been thinking about the idea for a few months but haven't written about it. I think that would be a fun project for the class. The story sounds sad, but much of it will be comedy.
The awesome thing is that my family was very excited and happy for me that I decided to take the class again. They all know it makes me happy to write and really want me to be happy. I don't think the class necessarily makes me happy - it's very difficult for me to get out the door, but the writing I need to do for class is exactly what I need. Their happiness for me makes me feel very loved today. What a great way to start a new year.