Today I feel very optimistic. My mom did great after the surgery. We stopped to visit her. I fed her like a baby since she couldn't sit up enough to take spoonfuls of broth on her own. She wanted to drink hot broth with a straw, but I convinced her I was an expert at spoon feeding babies. Not that she's a baby, but that was definitely a task I am good at. To try to make her laugh a little, I admit I did do the choo choo train into her mouth. I think the laughing hurt her back a little and she nearly choked when she laughed. After only a few trains in the tunnel, the doctor came in and told her she could sit up enough to eat. So much for my usefulness. We went home hoping she would rest if no one were there. I felt a lot better being able to see that she was OK.
My kids argued the whole way back to the car about who would push my wheelchair (I used my wheelchair for the first time with just my kids since they are embarrassed of me). I think they realized it's no big deal, which does make me feel optimistic. At least I can go out and about without suspirations from teens and preteens, like it's hurting them more to be with me in a wheelchair than it hurts me to try to walk or to just not be able to go at all - I'm not sure which hurts worse.
My son whined the whole way about having to go to karate. I made him go since he's the only one of all of us that is not injured. It costs a lot for a family of 4 to take karate. It bugs me that he has this privilege, on top of many, many more - piano lessons (that he asked for, not me), fancy shoes so he would have happy feet while doing the summer track team, enough legos for dozens of kids to play with, soccer camp, track camp, etc. etc. He has everything and has no idea. I think it's time for him to do some sort of community service so he can see more clearly. I ranted to everyone about this until karate class started. He took the class and afterward said he really had fun (he broke a board with a new move and got to teach some stuff to a kid that's nearly twice his height) and definitely wanted to sign up for another year. Yeah.
My daughter had an appointment this morning for her leg injury. She was truly worried she would never get better - anxious she might be like me. The appointment was fast and easy, just more PT. She should be completely better in a couple of months (just in time for summer to be over) and can increase her activity this summer. That's really great news!
As for me, I am proud to say that I have filled three three-subject spiral binders in 9 months with writing practice, some of it actual bits of stories, not just rambling on like this entry. I feel at peace. It's a strange thing that writing can do this to you - even bad writing that has no real beginning or end - it brings you to your center and calms your soul.